My friend Chanel runs a blog called The Marriage Project where she investigates, “a decision that is deeply personal and deeply political.” I have been reading her interviews for a while and once I became engaged, knew this was something I wanted to be a part of. My interview with Chanel is Reflection 118: “I will NEVER be Mrs. anything.”
Almost two weeks ago, my partner Jake proposed. As a feminist I am aware of the history of marriage, what it meant for women in this country and the ways in which it continues to be used to create second class citizens. I do not agree that it should be the primary, legal form of relationships. However, I know with every ounce of my being that I have chosen the right partner for me. I know the history of the institution I am about to become a part of and I couldn’t be happier because I am entering it with full knowledge of what it is and how to make it mine.
The proposal was everything I could have hoped for. I was surprised at a coffee shop in my hometown with family and friends. He then proceeded to sing a song he had written for me that led into the “will you marry me?” It was perfect.
The ring, a purple (my favorite color) sapphire in white gold, was more than just a beautiful symbolic gesture, The ring was purchased at Laura Preshong. Laura Preshong is a jeweler in Boston that makes eco friendly, socially responsible and conflict free pieces. By purchasing the ring there Jake chose something that symbolizes not only who we are as a couple but the kind of future and life we want to have together.
Now the planning begins. A Jewish wedding for Jake’s background with a Latino flair to honor mine. But also a feminist wedding. We will try our best to make it as eco-friendly and sustainable as possible. So listen up friends, for the next year this blog will be semi-hijacked by my wedding plans. Why? Because other feminists fall in love and want to enter into this problematic yet wonderful institution known as marriage and I want to throw my two cents into the ring of how to create a feminist wedding. It won’t be easy but here we go….