Tag Archives: wedding

Doin’ Thangs

It’s been three months since my last post. The new year hit and away I went. For the past three months I have been quite busy. With each new adventure I vowed to blog about it and yet here we are three months later and zero posts to show for it. So in order to wipe the slate clean I’m giving you a good old fashioned roundup.


  • I attended my very first Con, Arisia. Arisia is said to be “New England’s largest and most diverse science fiction and fantasy convention.” Now since I have never been to a Con, I can’t say whether this is the most diverse in the area. But if it is, that’s not saying much. Don’t get me wrong, although that was disappointing I did attend some amazing panels. I attended panels on zombies, vampires and Hunger Games-some of my favorite things. A few others that I really enjoyed were shame on slut-shaming and race and Identity in fandom. The feminism panel let much to be desired since it consisted of 3 white women and a white male, none of whom knew who Kimberle Crenshaw is (I reminded them from the audience). My favorite panel was on respectability politics. Not only did I get introduced to Daniel Jose Older, but I got to meet Mikki Kendall in person!!! All in all it was a pretty cool three days. I got to let all my nerd hang out and I was left thinking: how do I get on a panel next year?
  • I became an abortion doula. I first heard about abortion doula work in 2007 while living in NY. I knew immediately it was something I wanted to be a part of. I have been a reproductive justice activist for many years. Being an abortion doula seemed to be an important and much needed way to put my activism into direct action. Several months ago at the New England Women’s Center Conference during a self care workshop, the facilitator mentioned that she was starting the Boston Doula Project and I knew immediately this was my chance to get involved. The training was great. It gave me an opportunity to meet a wonderful group of people who felt as strongly about issues of reproductive justice as I did. The organizers made the distinction between reproductive rights, reproductive health and reproductive justice. This was a really important distinction that set the framework for the remainder of the training. I feel lucky to be a part of this organization from the ground up. I look forward to helping people and doing outreach in Boston about this work as part of the Public Programs team.


  • I found my dress. I won’t go into too many details since my fiance will likely read this. It was a pretty easy process in that I had a clear vision of what I wanted. Some stores were better than others (nicer than others) but I refused to be swayed from my vision. In the end I found the one and it gave me the feeling I was waiting for. The moment I saw myself in the mirror I burst into tears because it was exactly how I want to look on my wedding day. It may be more traditional than one would expect from a feminist (yes, it’s white), however it is 100% me and that’s all that matters.


  • I attended the Five College Queer Gender and Sexuality Conference. I attended this conference as a presenter, co-leading a workshop as part of the Hollaback! Boston team. It was a fantastic weekend. There were many engaging speaking including Tristan Taormino and Jiz Lee. The panels were really engaging. My two favorites were Queering Pregnancy and Media Representations of Queer Women of Color. Although the whole weekend was great, hands down the best part was the performance given by Darkmatter. Their slam poetry made me laugh and cry. I managed to grab a clip for you.

Needless to say I have been quite a busy bee. What have you all been up to in 2014?


ICYMI: My Interview with The Marriage Project

My friend Chanel runs a blog called The Marriage Project where she investigates, “a decision that is deeply personal and deeply political.” I have been reading her interviews for a while and once I became engaged, knew this was something I wanted to be a part of. My interview with Chanel is Reflection 118: “I will NEVER be Mrs. anything.”

Feminist Says Yes!-Step One: Find A Venue

For many couples I’m sure choosing a wedding venue is purely a fun and exciting time. But for a couple that is also funding the wedding on their own (mostly), with a very large guest list, it can be a very daunting task. Don’t get me wrong, it is super cool to have a vision of the day and try to find a space that fits that. At the same time it can be exhausting and disappointing, REAL TALK!

We visited one venue where the male wedding planner didn’t look at Jake when speaking to US. Oh and did I mention he also made an inappropriate gay comment, probably should’ve told him my fiance has two dads, at least maybe then he would have faked decency.

I have no doubt we will find a great space. We still have plenty of places to look at. We have also met some lovely people along the way. In the meantime I’m not going to front like it’s all rainbows and glitter. Make no mistake, the wedding industrial complex is real. I have to hike up my feminist panties and dive in fists a blazin’.

Feminist Says Yes!

Almost two weeks ago, my partner Jake proposed. As a feminist I am aware of the history of marriage, what it meant for women in this country and the ways in which it continues to be used to create second class citizens. I do not agree that it should be the primary, legal form of relationships. However, I know with every ounce of my being that I have chosen the right partner for me. I know the history of the institution I am about to become a part of and I couldn’t be happier because I am entering it with full knowledge of what it is and how to make it mine.

The proposal was everything I could have hoped for. I was surprised at a coffee shop in my hometown with family and friends. He then proceeded to sing a song he had written for me that led into the “will you marry me?” It was perfect. 1385040_833742770745_543538592_n

The ring, a purple (my favorite color) sapphire in white gold, was more than just a beautiful symbolic gesture, The ring was purchased at Laura Preshong. Laura Preshong is a jeweler in Boston that makes eco friendly, socially responsible and conflict free pieces. By purchasing the ring there Jake chose something that symbolizes not only who we are as a couple but the kind of future and life we want to have together.

Now the planning begins. A Jewish wedding for Jake’s background with a Latino flair to honor mine. But also a feminist wedding. We will try our best to make it as eco-friendly and sustainable as possible. So listen up friends, for the next year this blog will be semi-hijacked by my wedding plans. Why? Because other feminists fall in love and want to enter into this problematic yet wonderful institution known as marriage and I want to throw my two cents into the ring of how to create a feminist wedding. It won’t be easy but here we go….