For many couples I’m sure choosing a wedding venue is purely a fun and exciting time. But for a couple that is also funding the wedding on their own (mostly), with a very large guest list, it can be a very daunting task. Don’t get me wrong, it is super cool to have a vision of the day and try to find a space that fits that. At the same time it can be exhausting and disappointing, REAL TALK!
We visited one venue where the male wedding planner didn’t look at Jake when speaking to US. Oh and did I mention he also made an inappropriate gay comment, probably should’ve told him my fiance has two dads, at least maybe then he would have faked decency.
I have no doubt we will find a great space. We still have plenty of places to look at. We have also met some lovely people along the way. In the meantime I’m not going to front like it’s all rainbows and glitter. Make no mistake, the wedding industrial complex is real. I have to hike up my feminist panties and dive in fists a blazin’.
Almost two weeks ago, my partner Jake proposed. As a feminist I am aware of the history of marriage, what it meant for women in this country and the ways in which it continues to be used to create second class citizens. I do not agree that it should be the primary, legal form of relationships. However, I know with every ounce of my being that I have chosen the right partner for me. I know the history of the institution I am about to become a part of and I couldn’t be happier because I am entering it with full knowledge of what it is and how to make it mine.
The proposal was everything I could have hoped for. I was surprised at a coffee shop in my hometown with family and friends. He then proceeded to sing a song he had written for me that led into the “will you marry me?” It was perfect.
The ring, a purple (my favorite color) sapphire in white gold, was more than just a beautiful symbolic gesture, The ring was purchased at Laura Preshong. Laura Preshong is a jeweler in Boston that makes eco friendly, socially responsible and conflict free pieces. By purchasing the ring there Jake chose something that symbolizes not only who we are as a couple but the kind of future and life we want to have together.
Now the planning begins. A Jewish wedding for Jake’s background with a Latino flair to honor mine. But also a feminist wedding. We will try our best to make it as eco-friendly and sustainable as possible. So listen up friends, for the next year this blog will be semi-hijacked by my wedding plans. Why? Because other feminists fall in love and want to enter into this problematic yet wonderful institution known as marriage and I want to throw my two cents into the ring of how to create a feminist wedding. It won’t be easy but here we go….